06-06-2019, 12:15 AM
It usually involves that kid who was in a wheelchair on Degrassi or some hashtag I dont understand or something to do with Disney Jr. But the word "beard" drew me in, and on upon further investigation I discovered that "peak beard" was about contemporary popular cultures threshold for beard wearing, and the notion that the age of the beard may be over. This seemed sacrilegious to me, because here in late April we sit on the precipice of the climax of beard season: winter is slowly receding and the NHL playoffs bring with them the greatest sports tradition of all-time, the playoff beard. Peak beard in April? Pfft. Thats like writing of December that weve hit "peak Santa", or of AC/DC weve hit "peak guitar", or of a wedding weve hit "peak open bar". As we settle into the first round of the playoffs, beards among NHLers are about to take form. We are awash in the infancy of stubble. In two months whichever teams are left battling will look like theyre en route to Bonnaroo post-pucks. It should be noted that Ive worn a beard since puberty allowed it, and a razor has insulted my cheeks just once in the past twenty years. I revel in playoff beards. They make me feel at home. I wear a playoff beard in August. And as we got through the first weekend of the playoffs a few days ago, which was also Easter, Id be remiss if I didnt mention the best playoff beard ever: Jesus. Dude rocked his beard into the post-post season, and according to scripture will still be rocking the playoff beard when he comes back. The story of the playoff beard is well known: It started some thirty years ago during the New York Islanders dynasty of the 80s. (For our younger readers the Islanders were once a good hockey team, before fishermen logos, Charles Wang, and Alexei Yashin.) No one is quite sure of its specific genesis, however. Some attribute it to two Swedish Islanders who were trying to emulate tennis star Björn Borgs custom of not shaving during Wimbledon. Some say that Islanders defenceman Ken Morrows beard led the charge. Whatever the story, the playoff beard has come to symbolize team unity, a badge of honour, and the fact that youve made a deep enough run to sport a thick brush from which you can hang livestock. In my years as a hockey fan, a few playoff beards standout. Scott Niedermayers greying old man beard, Mike Commodores ginger madness, and Lanny McDonalds wild west stache accompaniment immediately come to mind. In recent years, rules concerning the playoff beard seem to have turned lax. Shaving after a loss in effort to change a teams luck is seemingly allowed. Goatees, the beards answer to the haiku, are tolerated. Professional trimming is apparent (Im looking at you, Sedin twins.) Back in the day, when men were men and the Oilers made the playoffs, the rules for the playoff beard were simple: 1. Stop shaving.2. Win Stanley Cup or get eliminated.3. Start shaving again. In todays NHL, a new challenge faces beard-growing players. In the salary cap era, inexpensive young talent on entry-level contracts are important to the balance of a competitive team. Eighteen, nineteen, and twenty year-olds are key parts of many playoff teams lineups. Early in the first round, all players beards are equal. Its like a grade 8 dance. But come rounds two and three, how will Nathan MacKinnon, Olli Maatta, and Ryan Murray look should their teams be fortunate enough to make it that deep? Of course, a teams playoff longevity doesnt necessarily guarantee a healthy bearded player. When Tomas Kaberle won a Cup with Boston in 2011, the former Leafs defencemen still looked like a pre-pubescent child despite two months without shaving. Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews has won two Cups without any discernible upper lip growth, and Sidney Crosby still owns his "Sid the Kid" moniker with his patchy-coat-of an-electrocuted-dog fuzz. We cant all be Duck Dynasty-esque, but at 26 Crosbys beard is just plain sad. I have a better beard in my junior prom photos. Hell, my prom date has a better beard. And then theres the beards well never know. Can Dion Phaneuf even grow a beard? Can Phil Kessel? Can the Edmonton Oilers? We know they can schedule vacations for early April, play in the World Championships, and pick in the early first round of the draft, but theyll need to see past round one of the playoffs before we can judge their facial hair prowess. Sadly, methinks well never know. For now, I will rebel against notions peak beard, despite what Cosmo and The Daily Guardian are writing. The grand tradition of the playoff beard is just one of the many facets of the fight for the Stanley Cup that makes the NHLs postseason more compelling, more rich in narrative, and more entertaining than any other sport. 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BALTIMORE -- A reversed call got the uprising started. Then came a walk after the Detroit Tigers were down to their last strike. That forced Tommy Hunter to go up against Miguel Cabrera, perhaps the last person a struggling closer wants to face with the outcome hanging in the balance. Cabrera hit a hanging curveball over the centre-field wall for a three-run homer, and the Tigers rallied past the Baltimore Orioles 4-1 on Tuesday night. After being held scoreless on three hits over the first eight innings, the Tigers improved to 1-12 when trailing after eight innings. "You never know in baseball," Detroit manager Brad Ausmus said. "When the top of our order swings the bat, we can score some runs quickly." Hunter held a 1-0 lead before giving up a leadoff single to Alex Avila. Pinch-runner Rajai Davis was called out trying to steal, but Ausmus challenged the call and after looking at the replay, umpires called Davis safe at second. "The instant replay was probably the turning point, I guess," Ausmus said. Hunter (1-1) got two straight outs before working the count on Torii Hunter to 1-2. The at-bat ended in a walk. "You cant let arguably one of the best hitters in the game come to the plate," Tommy Hunter said. "Youve got to throw a strike right there and I missed." Two pitches later, Cabrera connected. "Its a chance that we win or were going to lose," Cabrera said. "You dont have to think too much of it. Youve got to go out there and try and see what happens." Victor Martinez followed Cabreras sixth home run with a shot to right that landed on Eutaw Street beyond the scoreboard in right field. Justin Miller (1-1) pitched one inning to earn his first big league win and Joe Nathan got three outs for his ninth save. Nathan has seven saves and a 0.00 ERA in his last eight outings. Adam Jones hit a first-inning homer for the Orioles, who have dropped three in a row following a five-game winning streak. Jones has five home runs, four in the last seven games. Baltimore starter Ubaldo Jimenez gave up three hits, walked two and struck out seven in seven innings. After going 0-4 with a 6.59 ERA in April, the right-hander is 2-0 with a 0.46 ERA in May. Jimenez, who signed a four-year, $50 milllion contract as a free agent in February, permitted only one runner past first base.dddddddddddd All three hits against him were singles, and on each occasion the runner was erased trying to steal. Darren ODay worked a perfect eighth, but Hunter couldnt preserve the lead. He left the mound to jeers from fans who minutes earlier were standing in anticipation of the final out. Hunter has 11 saves, but his job as closer could be in jeopardy. "Im not going to get in to handicapping, this means that and that means this," manager Buck Showalter said. "Well constantly see what gives us the best option to pitch nine innings, and be competitive and continue to be in first place. And thats what well do." Said Hunter: "Its my job today. Well see." Detroit starter Drew Smyly allowed five hits over six innings and matched a season high with seven strikeouts. In his previous three outings against the Orioles, all in relief, Smyly gave up two hits and struck out eight in eight shutout innings. Detroit trailed 1-0 in the seventh when Hunter led off with a single and Cabrera walked. After Jimenez bounced a curveball, rookie catcher Caleb Joseph quickly found the handle on the loose ball and threw out Hunter trying to take third. Martinez bounced into a 4-6-3 double play. Baltimore catchers were 4 for 29 in throwing out would-be stealers before Joseph went 3 for 4. The rookie also got his first major league hit, a fourth-inning single. NOTES: RHP Kevin Gausman will be recalled from Triple-A Norfolk to start Wednesday for the Orioles. The move was designed to give starters Wei-Yin Chen and Miguel Gonzalez an extra day of rest. Gonzalez will be available in the bullpen for Wednesdays game. 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